This whole time I have know I have breast cancer my emotions obviously have been a wreck. Some days I feel as if I can not handle the day and want to stay in bed, some days I feel great and tackle anything that comes my way, and some days i just want to cry because I do not want to have cancer, I do not want to be strong enough to fight this battle, I do not want my life to change, specially how I am as a mom. But the sad reality is that yes I am strong enough to fight this battle, yes my life has changed, yes I am going to have days to cry and feel my feelings, yes I am going to feel overwhelmed dealing with my boys emotions, and yes I am not alone.
After almost a month of doctors visits and tests, I had my port put in and started my chemotherapy. I was so nervous and scared about chemo because all the horror stories you hear about it, the nausea, the weakness, the pain and specially the hair loss. Thankfully after my first chemo I did not have any crazy side effects and felt pretty good.
After all the crazy emotions I have remained with a smile on my face and as positive as I can. I never knew I was this strong and knowing that I am not alone gives me great comfort. I knew there was a chance I would lose my hair so I went and got a haircut to get me ready for the transition.
But a day after I got haircut I woke up with crazy amount of pain in my scalp and after massaging my head I got some hair and as I pulled my hair started falling in chunks. I have not cried that much for weeks. It was a horrible sensation to realize that one of your worst fears was actually happening. I quickly called my husband and told him he was going to have to buzz my hair. He then called kids for a family meeting and told them what Mami was going thru and they were sad but happy to help buzz my hair. I cried the whole time they were cutting my hair, it was an overwhelming feeling but it happened, I had no hair.
I had to take a picture and smile to show my family, friends and specially myself that I can still smile in the midst of this tough new journey and that I knew that I am still beautiful. That same day a sweet mama friend came by and showed me how to wrap my head and I love it, it makes me feel so empowered and gorgeous.
I am so grateful to have such amazing mama friends that not only support me but keep my boys for me and hold my hand thru texts and phone calls to make sure I am okay. Thanks again for all the love and support from my family and friends. I hope my new journey helps you remember how blessed we are and how quickly your life can change so always treasure your loved one and be a Mami Making Memories.