This morning I had a conversation with someone that had me feeling all twisty inside about the choices I make for my kids regarding what we eat. Then Giancarlo, my 4 year old, decided to draw dots with permanent marker in my fabric place mats and i just lost it. I mean I got in the red zone real fast, (to learn more about what red zone is go here: http://sallieborrink.com/identifying-understanding-red-zone-spirited-child/). I had to take some time away from everyone to cool off so I went into laundry.
After all that I got ready to go to crossfit and take husband to work. Once I took him to work something happened to my emotions because I started crying, the whole thing this morning really hurt my feelings. I could not go to gym in that state so I decided to go home and get in my comfy pijamas. Finally I was home but the crying persisted, I opened my computer and quickly talked to my best friend about what happened this morning. She listened and said some awesome words of encouragement.
I was feeling a little better when my boys came and asked me why I was crying, I replied by saying: “That sometimes I feel like I am not a good Mami to you guys, I try so hard and read so much to be the Best Mami I can be but I didn’t feel too confident I was doing a good job.” They gave a hug real fast and said: “Mami you are the best Mami”, then they ran to their room. When they came back they had two notes that said: “You are the best mom”. I cried and hugged them tightly.
Some days I wonder if all the changes I have made, all the books I am reading, all the tools I have found, are really making a difference in my life and the life of my boys. However, days like today show me that in spite of the chaos and the mistakes, they love me and I love them no matter what. All I needed was to hit the refresh button and start my day over. Always being a Mami making memories!